Drip Drop

Yesterday my soul was splashed with grief, doubt and an ache that hurt far more than any physical pain I have ever experienced. I have never before sought the Lord more persistently. I felt my helplessness and my need for Him so strongly. I craved His presence next to me and inside of me. I know in my heart that the Lord is walking with me. I trust in God to take me through this part of my new chapter. Even then, my soul will still sorrow, for that is where my growth will flourish. My weakness is God's strength. Today brought the slightest of changes. Today there was a drop of hope in the waters of my soul. That one drop made a difference. I pray that it continues to grow and alter the current of my spirit. The Lord reigns. Never before have I realized the strength and truth behind that statement. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I would like to thank you all for the words with which you have encouraged me these past 24 hours. My heart is warmed, truly. I can feel the prayers you have been praying, even from so far away. I love that. :) Today I swept the walkway, driveway, and garage while listening to some good ol' American music. It was a wonderful distraction and a job well done, I must say. One and a half hours later I jumped (really, I jumped) into a cold shower and now I feel so much better. The sun is shining today, and not just in the sky!!! I was out walking a few days ago and a few young European men passing by started hollering at me in German. Fortunately I did not have a clue what they were saying. The tire on my bike here is flat so I took it down to the bike shop to get it repaired. I will not get it until Saturday so I have been walking everywhere which has been quite lovely, despite the longer amount of time that is needed. Today I organized every single drawer in the kitchen. I find a ridiculous amount of joy in organizing. I took my first train 2 days ago. I was SO terrified of being taken far away into the middle of nowhere because I wasn't sure if I had gotten the correct ticket, boarded the correct train, or even if I knew the right name of my destination! God is good, and got me safely to the correct Platz, and I enjoyed walking around a very busy mall. Europeans are very tall...Also, the majority of the people are very thin and dress SO well. All the colors are very muted. What I have come to realize is that they are completely opposite of my style. I don't own an outfit with muted colors, nor will I ever be tall and reedy. It's not so bad being different though. I rather enjoy it. Oh, and they all smell good, but a weird good, like the cologne and/or perfume has expired. It's strange. I have noticed since I have been here that people write the number 1 very oddly. It looks like an upside down V. I wish they would stop. It's hard enough learning the language. When I go to buy a coffee or get a treat from a bakery, I realize that they could be giving me the wrong amount of change and I would be none the wiser. My skills in listening to German numbers are only sufficient if the person is speaking in slow motion! I bought stationary yesterday at a very tiny, cute store in the middle of town. When I got home, I realized I had no stamps to send the letters I wanted to write. Oops. Today I will go down to the Post Office and get some. I was under the impression that living in Europe would make me eat less since they have different eating habits, but NO. That was a lie. I enjoy the food so much that I eat more here then I did in Alaska. Healthier, yes. Smaller quantities, no. I do love that I have to walk and bike everywhere because it gives me enough exercise to feel accomplished every day. I miss dancing so I have been using the exercise room to improv. I am very glad there are no mirrors! I am trying to set up a meeting with a pastor from a church here to see if their beliefs are okay. I am craving church more than anything. Speaking of cravings... I just took some cupcakes out of the oven. The middle girl has her 7th birthday tomorrow. I am giving her one of my Grandma's homemade beaded purse necklaces with a few trinkets inside. She was lusting after it while exploring my room and since I have 2 of them, there was no harm in surprising her with it! I am excited to give it to her. Each breath is a gift, I must remember that. I will praise God for every moment he gives me to bear fruit in my life. Lord, let me be a blessing to these children, and fill their lives with your love. Amen!