The loveliness of being loved

This very evening I spoke German more comfortably than I have since being here. The entire evening I had conversation using almost entirely Deutsch. I still have so much to learn but it continues to make more and more sense in my head. I can follow what's going on instead of standing there thinking about random things while staring at the drink in my hand. Some of my thoughts are becoming German and now I am starting to combine English and German when I speak. Gut, aber nicht so gut... My last few weeks have been a struggle to catch up in my Deutsch class since I started almost two months late and I finally feel close to being up to par. Not being the best definitely inspires me to study! I enjoyed a marvelous St. Martin's Day walking through the streets of Wegberg with the children singing songs and holding lanterns. It was rich with culture and I soaked it in. My mouth was so sore from the constant smile on my face that I felt like Barbie! I met 3 other au pairs last weekend in a nearby city called Erkelenz where I take my classes and it was so lovely to speak "fast" English and be with other girls my age. Last Saturday I spent with Olga hanging out in Düsseldorf and we had such a grand time! After our fun day, we came back to my house and enjoyed a Germanized version of Thanksgiving with the family, their friends and the au pairs I had met the night before. It was a glorious evening! Lots of beer and not a pie in sight. This week I biked to school, which takes about 40 minutes. On the way back it was pitch black since my class ends at 19:30, and even with the bike light and my headlamp, I could still barely see a few feet ahead of me. I am biking through a few villages and lots of fields so there are not many lights. It was quite exhilarating. Also, I do not have the money to spend on new jeans and I have already gained about 10 pounds since being here so biking is good! My money is all for traveling right now. :) I returned home this evening from the town center where I enjoyed an evening of music, dancing and german speaking! Jojo had a choir performance and we watched while drinking the delicious, hot, holiday wine that comes during Christmas season. They set up an ice rink for the kids and while they played, we talked and danced to the live music. It was a grand evening! Jojo had a few friends over this afternoon and we played marvelous games including playmobile, where we helped each other with the German and English words for all the accessories, then we turned off the lights, turned on a few rotating blinking lamps and danced to some girly music. In the midst of that, we had a pillow flight. Everytime Jojo grabs my hand, hugs me, paints me a picture or snuggles up next to me, I feel so content. I love being loved. The honesty of children makes their gestures so much more meaningful. I love kissing them goodnight or rubbing their backs when they're tired. I simply adore both of them. The Lord has truly blessed me with an incredible family here. Next weekend I am planning a trip to Paris with Olga. I am extremely excited. This Sunday I might go to a Christmas market in Köln with Britta and Christoph which would be lovely! I need to get a few more gifts for my family. I have felt very torn lately about my life direction. I'm not rushed into deciding if I want to stay another year but it has definitely been on my mind a lot and I am confused. I miss everything about my home in Alaska but love everything about my home in Wegberg. One moment I want to cry and go home and the next I want to stay another year! Crazy right? This afternoon I was surprised to see my family on Skype at 4:30 in the morning. (14:30 for me.) I spoke to my mom and she told me she woke up to take Kevin to the Black Friday shopping. Seriously. Of all the woman in that house and my brother was the only one who wanted to get up early and go shopping. Plus he's crippled! I got a good laugh out of that. Sometimes I can really tell that he was raised in a prominently feminine household... My eyes are beginning to close on me. It has been a long week. As always, I love letters or even a quick email. I miss everyone. I enjoyed speaking with the lovely Kristen Olson today which made me smile and have renewed energy for my daily duties. :) I love her! Germany is still so warm I have used my winter coat only twice. I won't lie though, I miss skiing so badly. I am aching to get to the top of a mountain and just fly down it! Oh, some good news on the horizon for me... I am tentatively planning a venture to the land of the leprechauns in March for St. Patrick's Day. Maybe I will get to see the real way to celebrate the shamrock!