Time Soars By

Ten days. After that, I will no longer be a tourist. I will be an official resident in Germany! Hopefully with a visa to prove it. :) When my alarm wakes me up in the morning, my first thoughts as I open my eyes are heavy and filled with sadness. It's not for a particular thing, but a broad, empty weight that stretches across my soul. After a few moments it passes but I have started to dread the morning's first few minutes. I begin each new day with a prayer and the Lord is faithful and just. I am continually drawn near to Him and do you know what my favorite part is? I will spend my entire lifetime knowing God more. I will learn and learn and learn and STILL I will yearn to know Him more. In that moment when I put on the imperishable and lack the sting of death, I will come to be with my Lord for eternity, knowing Him more for the rest of time. What a glorious hope. I have been settling in more and more with each day. Learning new things, becoming more comfortable, and most of all, sculpting my surroundings to suit my fancy. Pulling towards me the sights and smells of home, the familiar sounds, anything and everything that will establish my life here. Slowly but surely, it will come. Friday afternoon, I was shopping with Britta in the grocery store and a song from the movie 'Spirit' came onto the radio and I began to cry. It wasn't obvious crying, but on the inside it was a good and satisfying cry. Katie listened to the Spirit soundtrack for about a year straight when she was younger and she performed a beautiful dance to one of the songs as well. It was then that I suddenly realized the depth of how much I miss my family. This Saturday I travelled to Bonn with the family and their last two au pairs. It was so much fun! We went to "Haus der Geschichte der Bundesrepublik Deutschland" which basically means House of German History. It was the history since 1945 and it took us 3 hours to see everything. I was enraptured the entire time. I had an English guidebook to read from and Christoph would also explain a lot to me since he had seen some of the things they were showing. I think it is so important to know the history of where you live and now I know! Although I am researching more on the internet because one day was not enough. There was a black room dedicated to the Holocaust that seemed to seep sadness out of each corner. I stood inside it for five minutes just looking and thinking. There were photos and there were names. And there were emotions. It was really intense for me. Yesterday I went on a bike ride with Christoph and the kids to a cute coffeehouse. I walked in and it was stuffed to the brim with tables and chairs. It was hot and there were "things" everywhere. I glanced up and saw knitted socks hanging from a clothesline on the ceiling. There were chalkboards every few feet along the wall and the fireplace had miniature cooking utensils hanging around it. Oh, and there was a cat lounging on a bench! Basically, it looked like mom's dream house. Most of all, it felt really cultural. It was so magical! I had a beer and reveled in the atmosphere. Christoph told me it was also a bed and breakfast so now I have the perfect outing to spend with DEVAN!!! :) As we biked home, we passed a field of cows and I noticed that one of them had a ring in his snout! I felt bad for the poor guy. There were lots of horses as well, and the fields are starting to develop a thin layer of frost every morning! I like that. Sunday evening, after our bike ride, I went inside and sat by the toasty fire to write letters. Christoph was playing Enya and I felt so relaxed and cozy. I was encompassed in the perfect atmosphere and I could not have been more content. I attended an evening service at the Catholic church and it was wonderful because I walked in the darkness of the town up to the main square where the church bells were ringing. I stepped away from the starry sky into a giant cathedral and listened to the organ and German hymns. I participated with my heart more than my words, that's for sure. Today I walked through the town and stopped in a few shops. I am getting better at understanding people!!! I usually am terrified when I walk in, but now I can communicate with a bit more ease. It's ever so wonderful. I found a cute little second hand store that has good clothes and nice prices too! The old man working there was so sweet and I was able to talk with him in German which was very satisfying. :) I bought a white lacy vest. It's very whimsical and I love it. I got it at a discount too! Tonight I am celebrating St. Martins with my family here. It will be a great cultural experience for me! They even insisted that I skip my Deutsch class because I would learn more from this evening with them. I will not argue! The kids will go door to door with their homemade paper lanterns and sing songs and get chocolate. I will be drinking hot wine and speaking Deutsch to the best of my ability. This is my first official German holiday! I am quite excited. I spent the afternoon cleaning my place and it got me very excited for when Devan comes to stay with me. I can't wait to show her all the beautiful places I walk and bike to, and also all the little shops and the places we can travel together. Oh, it will be amazing.