Even Though

The difficulties in my heart have paled in comparison to the grandeur of the past few days. Through a few nighttime walks about the city, sunny afternoons with the kids and the steadfast love and faithfulness from the Lord, my heart feels worlds lighter! Apart from the normal empty spot where all the people I miss should be. Even my friends in Germany have departed for holiday! Hannah and I happened upon a headphone party at a beach near Essen. We were so astonished at how extremely unsocial it was but after a few hours gave in and grabbed some headphones. It was quite magical out on the sand in the dark with the moon shining above us! And naturally, we met quite a few crazy folks which is always interesting. 

Upon the arrival of my family from their holiday, they had guests the very next evening staying for a few days. Busy busy busy! As always. But I like busy! This family was so wonderful too. They are very musical and after the initial greeting, they walked into the living room and started playing the piano and drums! So I smiled as jazz notes filled my ears. The next day as I was folding some laundry, the dad walked into the room and began to mess around on the piano. Eventually I joined him and we sang together for a while. I felt a rush of warmth come inside of me and then it was gone and I missed Anna.

Friday morning I left with Britta and the kids to Erkelenz so the children could get some new school supplies. After we gathered what they needed from the shop, we stepped out into the sunny streets and began to stroll through the morning market. Jojo found fascination in just about everything she laid her eyes upon, and I couldn't help but smile as her summer dress bounced and twirled around her while she ran to investigate all the excitements spread around us. We found a magic pen that makes the writing invisible unless you shine a light on it, just like one that I used to have as a little girl for my journal so we bought it! She was delighted. At one point, she clung to my arm, rested her head against my shoulder and asked me how long I was staying in Germany. I told her as long as I could and she beamed up at me and replied, "Good." Gereon bought a model airplane to paint and construct and we both looked at each other afterwards as I told him, "Hey Gereon, now you 'have got a hobby!'" We had a good laugh over that. I thought fondly of mom as we walked through the market with our weaved baskets picking out fresh fruits and breads. We even bought a plum cake! The afternoon was bright and sunny so we spent it outside in the garden. We ate Quark with fresh strawberries and the kids played in the pool. During the afternoon I sat outside with them and carved shapes out of "speck stein" (soapstone.) It looks like chalk but it's much softer and by the time we finished, my legs were even whiter than their normal pale complexion. Later in the afternoon, I drank a coffee and ate the plum cake with some cream while the kids continued carving. We also re-did the Olympic games which was funny. Oh! I forgot to mention! I had such perfect meals. Breakfast was the porridge I'd bought in Ireland while I drank coffee out of my O'Loughlin mug. Lunch was the fresh fruit and yogurt from the market and dinner was the fresh bread plus pesto and my favorite cheese. I love days like that!

The kids and I were watching tv on Friday evening. Gereon walked over to the cupboard to look for some chips after Jojo and I finished the pringles he'd wanted. Inside the cupboard is a giant egg about the size of my head that is displayed next to the chips. I don't know why, but it just is. I was watching tv as he opened the cabinet and searched for a few minutes. Then I looked over as he turned around and holding the giant egg in his hands he said, "I guess I'll just eat an egg." I have not laughed so richly since a very long time. Him standing there in his pjs with his spindly legs, holding the egg. It was just took much. 

Late in the evening I took a walk that intensified my love for Germany. It was just dark enough to be magical but not frightening. I love walking on the cobblestones, hearing the leaves rustling, the music from the bars, the otherwise peaceful aura surrounding me, the smell that comes from the vast variety of green everywhere, the ducks crossing the street as I walked by the pond, passing my favorite tree, hearing the calming chimes of the church bells, the squeaks of the tiny insects, and the peace and charm that expanded inside my heart. All a gift from God. 

Today I will most likely take a bike trip with Christoph and Gereon and afterwards we're grilling some fish out on the terrace. It's windy today but sunny so I'm not too warm but still can enjoy the sunshine. I've spent a lovely weekend with my family and still have the whole of today to continue! Tomorrow starts my studying. :) Woohoo! 

You know, even though I try at times to wallow in struggles or be upset about myself, God pulls me right up and doesn't allow it! He strengthens me continually and pushes me to do better, see clearer, go farther, praise Him through it all. I love Him.