Karneval! Dancing and singing all over the streets, in all the restaurants, clubs and bars, and not a person in sight with normal clothing. Naturally, it's quite a bundle of fun. My weekend was well spent in Cologne and today I watched another "train" (like a parade) in Erkelenz with the kids. During part of the train, I saw the tiger duck! Which was my costume so I was pretty excited. (The tiger duck is a cartoon for kids here.) Now the children are stuffed with scrambled eggs and toast and are watching some tv before bedtime. I've finished washing all my clothes from the weekend that smell like smoke and beer. Not my favorite aroma. Jojo had to air out her costume after our evening in Cologne because it smelled so bad!
Oh how I am going to miss Hannah Easley. She is leaving me in a few weeks and I've been in denial for too long. She was the first person I met right after I prayed for a friend who believes in Jesus. And this past year and a half we've lived through the crazy happenings of venturing in a foreign land together. I'm not sure how I will continue that venture without her sarcastic comments and snide remarks that keep me laughing. Yesterday after church, while we walked through the city to get some lunch, I got so sad and couldn't deny it any longer. I will miss her so dearly.
You know how sometimes it's so difficult to know a person? To feel close to their heart and understand them as much as they understand themselves, or perhaps even more? And then do you know how sometimes it's so easy? Why is that? I'm imagining the people in my head that were so easy for me to know. I quickly understood their heart. And I'm also imagining how that "knowing" compares to the depth of how our Saviour knows us. And it's never difficult for him. He looks at a person and goes straight to their heart. It's displayed all over the gospels whenever he meets people. It's so beautiful, and when I put that comparison in my head, I feel an explosion of warmth at the richness with which he knows me. And not only that, but his knowing is greater than mine, because he created me from the inside out. When my eyes fail me, he is my vision. When my heart fails me, he is my guide. When my strength fails me, he is my rock. When I tilt my head down and see the disaster that's overtaken every aspect of my being, when I see clearly ever error spread all over me, that's when I have to throw down the pride that tears me constantly from him. And then he comes, and he comes with strength, and faithfulness, and great love. He takes care of me gently and sweetly and miraculously. And I never want to live by my own will again, because he is my delight, my glory, and my satisfaction. And this all sounds so wonderful doesn't it? Because it is! And somehow I throw it away again and again for any little obstacle that wraps itself in beauty and lures me in. Who am I kidding, they're not always beautiful. When they're ugly I want them too and I take them. And then it's so difficult to know myself, even just to know myself to the extent that I do, which is faint in comparison to how Jesus knows me. And then my eyes widen in horror that he knows me so well and wonder because he loves me still. He sees what he created me to be, and what I will be when he returns. Complete in him, at rest, whole. My name is written in his book and I am rescued by the only one strong enough to wash away my wrongs and make me right. 'Oh God be my everything, be my delight Be Jesus, my glory, my soul satisfied!'
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