A Stones Throw Away

I put my cozy, wool socks from Italy on, painted my nails black and straightened my hair and now I've snuggled myself into this desk chair to write about anything and everything. I have the entire afternoon free this Saturday and I'm going stir crazy. I've been sick all week and being calm was so annoying. Now other than a stuffy nose, my old self is back and I feel like jumping out into an ice cold ocean or running through a jungle or something crazy that doesn't involve being at home drinking tea.  Not that I don't love drinking tea while reading a good book...but I'm bubbling over with the want of something bright and fun. I want to go out dancing or take a run along the Rhine or even jump into the Rhine! And somehow this evening finds me completely alone in my room. At this desk. So I will write. I have to continuously learn that life brings you what you usually don't expect and quite often what you don't particularly want. I have a day that I don't actually want and I'm trying to solve that problem. My hair feels soft and smooth and my nails make me think of Boogie and my feet are warm and snuggly, but it's just not cutting it. What can cut it though? Will these words slice right through my dissatisfaction? I don't think they will. Instead I will let my thoughts wander onto this screen and let the minutes slip away as I drift into the world of words. Sometimes it's hard to delve deep into my purest, untouched thoughts. The ones no one invaded and wrapped their opinion around. The pure thoughts surprise me. They are light from the lack of weight of pre-concieved ideas. Because then I am one layer. No opinions wrap me up. I fear entering that place where all is accepted but never penetrates the heart or sparks the tingling inside your body. Emotion is scary. It's embarrassing and it's dramatic. It can be laughed at or scoffed at and it can be confusing to some and clear to others. Emotion is something greatly feared but greatly desired. I cannot deny emotion in my life, and not only because I am young and growing and learning. But because it's untouchable in it's purity. It sits on the floor of our hearts and explores it's way through our soul. It pours out through our eyes, comes out from our voices, and exudes from our bodies. Emotion brings both deep pain and bright joy. And if you haven't noticed yet, I'm quite at ease with being emotional!!! 

My mind is turning now to some exciting facts from the past week. I'd been pondering what I'd do for Christmas this year. December is when I'm done being an Au Pair and my initial thought was to start directly with Bible School here in Europe. But then I wanted to see my family over Christmas and then I spoke with my engaged sister who might be getting married in April or May 2014. And then I figured that'd be quite dumb to be flying back and forth from Alaska to Germany and also impossible to afford. And also it's not nice if I fly down just for the wedding and I wouldn't really feel like a part of it. Sooooo I'm contemplating coming home for Christmas (Joe said they'd pay for me!!!!!) and then staying until the wedding so I can be 100% involved in the wedding, spend quality time with my family and save up money for school. Then I'd go back to Germany in the summer or fall to start school. I'm not sold on this plan yet, but it's been lurking in my mind and I'd love prayer about it!!! Being home would be a blessing for me but also hard. But then knowing that I'd be returning to Germany at a specific time would be nice so I wouldn't get too sad. Another prayer request is for my German test. I'm taking it in June and I really want to pass!!! It's really challenging in school and I'm feeling confident but also knowing anything could go wrong so please keep me in your prayers over these next few months! 

Well, this was one of my odder blogs. It's time for some music, some cooking and some wine! Tata for now!

This one's for my family

"Heimweh" literally means "home ache" and that is what I've struggled with the past few weeks. I'm not sure why since Katie is coming in a few months and then Boogie. But I miss them all so terribly and feel so ripped from their lives right now. I just don't like it and here is what I have to say about it in an attempt to lift my spirits.

Mom, I miss your uplifting smile and encouraging words. I miss how open you are about all your children's crazy ideas and how you keep supporting us through mistakes. I miss jumping on your bed late at night and being giggly and talkative while you tried to sleep. I miss how you were torn between being angry and being flattered. I miss coming to you or calling you the second I needed a question answered or a doubt confirmed and getting sound advice that I trusted. Oddly enough, I miss hearing you say ridiculous sentences to the cats with your flowery words.

Anna, I miss SO MUCH waking up to piano. I would hear it from the garage and just lay there relaxed and happy. I miss singing with you and learning the new songs you'd composed. I miss watching movies in your ice cold bed and the pride I felt when I didn't have to move once during the movie. I miss irritating you. I miss how you get really excited about something and then laugh all exuberantly while your hand does this spastic movement in front of you. I miss watching you dance.

Shannon, I miss coming to you for boy trouble and knowing you were so happy to give me advice. I miss you helping me get dressed for hip hop class. I miss your jokes and light humor in not so light situations. I miss eating around you and making you hungry. I miss how easy it was to hang out with you and have fun. I miss singing while you played guitar. I miss how deeply we understood each other in our hurts and how simple it was for us to create music through that together. 

Katie, I miss how well you know me. You can look at me less than a moment and know what's going on instantly. I don't have to try to explain anything to you. I do anyways, but only because I like to talk. I miss you laughing at my stupid, stupid jokes and I miss dancing with you. I miss having you around to talk to and share my heart with. I miss praying with you and hearing what's on your heart. I miss coming home from my day and sharing it with you. I miss you in every moment because you're not next to me in it.

Kevin, I miss your goofy laugh and jokes that get funnier as you get older. I miss how gentle you've always been with us, even though you like to jump on people and hit them. I miss that day when you weren't gentle and we wrestled and I won and mom yelled at us like we were tiny children being scolded. I miss watching your soccer games, your football games and even your baseball games! Because I miss being so proud to cheer for my brother in the stands. I miss watching you grow up and discover where you want to go in life and I wish I was there for that. I miss you.

Maranatha, I miss your sweet soul that is always full of smiles and love and beauty. I miss how loving you are and how true you are. I miss being able to tell you anything and knowing you would love me and even understand me. I miss watching you grow as a woman as you had Sienna and became the wonderful mom that you are. I miss giving you hugs. And I'm so thankful you're my sister. I miss you.

Boogie, I miss your laugh. I miss your hugs and how well you listen. I miss also how well you talk. I miss getting angry at you because you kept me up laughing when I was trying to fall asleep. I miss walking around with you and just having fun spending our day together. I miss fluffing your hair. I miss going to events or parties and knowing it wouldn't get awkward because I could always stand next to you and I'd be okay. I miss finding sticky notes in my dresser at 5 in the morning that helped me start the day when I felt dead. I miss laughing harmoniously with you.

Dad, I miss snowboarding and skiing with you. I miss going out in the woods and learning how to be tough. I miss having you there to make a fire in the middle of the forest so we could steam out our clothes. I miss going off with Shannon and peeling the bark off trees even though you told us to get leaves and sticks instead. I miss learning how to shoot a gun with you and hiking Matanuska Peak with you and Shannon. I miss learning about nature while we were outside. I miss having someone to ask confusing questions to. And I miss you saying strange things that can only invoke laughter. 

Grandma, I miss your hugs. I miss eating your soup and having breakfast of fresh grapefruit with sugar. I miss you pretending to be mad when we ate all the cookies out of the freezer. I miss going shopping with you. I miss talking about old family memories and hearing of your experiences. I miss all those days spent at your house playing and exploring. I miss you so much and I want to spend my days as a Grandma just like you because I have endless memories with you that are irreplaceable. Thank you. :)

Lord Jesus, thank you for my family. Thank you for helping my eyes to look forward when I want to keep them in the past. Thank you for the memories that remind me of how blessed I am and how rich I am, because I am filled to the brim with love! Thank you so much for teaching me through every circumstance and emotion. Please keep working within me and deepening the roots of my faith in you and your infinite love. Thank you for the promise of redemption and life with you. Thank you, Father!!!

The Button Box

I recalled a beloved memory the other day about the afternoons spent at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Anchorage and/or California. There was that dollhouse with all the old dolls  and frilly dresses. There were the books filled with paper dolls. That's how I learned to cut in straight lines! I remember sitting with Grandma while we cut out the clothes and asking her how she could cut so perfectly. She looked at me and said, "Karly, when you're as old as me you'll have just as much practice and be just as perfect." I still remember that when I use scissors. :) I also think of Shannon and how she tattled on my for holding the scissors the wrong way. Then there were all the dress up clothes that we could never get enough of! Silk and lace and everything that makes your eyes brighten as a little girl! Actually, at any age. Then we have the pooping duck that gives you jelly beans from the behind! I'm carrying on that tradition with Jojo and Gereon. If I look to my right from where I'm sitting, there's a crochet duck that Grandma sent me filled with jelly beans for the kids. But the memory that makes me the happiest today is the button box. It seems silly, but that box brought hours of fun! Sorting through and finding matches, finding our top 3 favorite buttons, organizing by color, the games were endless. And it brings me back to the fascination that children have and how vital that is for life to thrive. So, go find your button box and thrive away!!!

Let's see... dancing, singing, playing with hair, acting, drawing, commercials, building tree houses, and drinking hot chocolate. Girls sure know how to have fun!!! Jojo invited 3 friends over the other week and they began their afternoon outside building and creating a home in the trees. When they came inside, I made then hot chocolate with whipped cream and then we played a team competition where I chose activities for them to complete and then chose a winning team. This was a BIG hit! We were busy the entire afternoon with all sorts of tasks. They were unbelievably darling. Hearing two little German girls singing Karneval songs just about sent me over the edge. :) Ahh, priceless moments these are!!!

Jojo and I have been speaking so ridiculously to each other lately. We were playing a game the other day called "Das Verrückte Labyrinth" which means the crazy labyrinth. I asked her, "But why is it a verrückte labyrinth?" And she replied, "Because there's a Fee and a Schlange!" (A fairy and a dragon) I burst out laughing and told her we really needed to stop mixing our sentences with random German or English words. But at the same time, it makes me laugh so much!!! It just isn't the best method for teaching her proper English. At the breakfast table one morning she started singing along with the radio and knew every single word! And here is what she was singing: "When I'm drunk in the morning, I'm calling you, you might be lonely, lonely!" Yes, that is exactly what I wanted her to learn in English. Thank you, German radio so very much.

I was writing an email to my dad and it made me think of my last day in Alaska before I left to come back to Germany. After I figured out I'd missed my flight, Dad paid for Katie and I to stay at a hotel together so I could catch my other flight in the morning without having to drive back into town. It was such a relief from all the stress and emotions that I had from leaving and we had such a blessed evening together. After we settled into our room, we walked over to a steakhouse and had seafood with dad. It was so delicious and our conversation was really enjoyable and as I sat there with thoughts running through my head about leaving and all the emotions behind it, I felt a strong contentment of where I was and who I was with. It was the last sort of evening I would have chosen for my ending in Alaska, but it was far better than I could have ever pictured. I am so thankful for it, and it's one of those odd memories that from the outside seem to have no bright spot of significance, yet on the inside they are infinitely precious. And somehow, those unexpected moments are the very best ones.

After a fun evening at an Irish pub with a friend of mine and church in the morning, I walked over an hour through Düsseldorf along the Rhine to visit Julia and Stephen, who I stayed with for two weeks back when I first came here and had no job. As I got closer to the church where they live (next to it) I looked to my left at the river and was suddenly right back in the shoes of a scared girl in a foreign world, not sure where the next day would take her. I saw the bench that overlooks the river where I would sit for hours, praying and thinking, crying and wondering. And then I walked up to the front door of the two people who took care of me when I needed help the most. I was warmly welcomed and came into the living room to have tea and biscuits while we caught up after over a year of not seeing each other. It was charming and British, exactly how I remember. :) There was a bowl of cream to put on the bisquits with jams and some small cookies. They even brought out a special loose leave tea from Sri Lanka that they save for special guests! So we sat there and sipped our tea and enjoyed enriching conversation. It was a blessed afternoon! And today, I'm looking out upon a beautiful, sunshiny day and I can smell the spring air just begging me to go bike through it! The birds are chirping, the snow is gone and I LOVE SPRING!!! 

Oh, and I'm considering studying Anthropology in the Netherlands!!!

Hopefully, hopefully hopefully!

"Thou art my life - I the brook, thou the spring. Because thine eyes are open, I can see; Because thou art thyself, 'tis therefore I am me."
-George MacDonald (Diary of an Old Soul)


I've always been a very confident person. I generally don't crumble down what I think to suit the fancy of others, but instead take pride in what I think and fight to make my points known. If anything, I have to take a step back and be more open to what others have to say. I know who I am and I know what I want. Usually. It's funny (and by funny I mean that it's actually not that funny) because the past 20 months or so, all of that stubbornness, confidence, and assurance dwindled and filtered out of me until I wasn't even sure what I thought about anything in the world, let alone myself. It was a smack in the face that I'd been living through my jaded eyes alone. I'll be honest, I love having confidence and I love knowing what I want! But the Lord has humbled my heart to recognize my daily task of opening my eyes to hear what he has to say and to what others around me have to say with an open mind.

I'm planning a weekend trip over Easter to a town in the north of Germany called "Rostock." I'll be staying with a family that I've never met, but have contact with through the ministry program leader that I've been talking to for the past 7 months or so. They'll be able to meet me and advice which Bible school I should attend as well as discussing the ministry options available in Germany that would suit my personality and strengths. I'm really excited to meet them and see how the Lord unfolds his plans. My tentative ideas at this point are to finish my year as an Au Pair, which will end December 2013. During that time, I will hopefully pass my German exam in May 2013 and have the ability to study here and to have a job. Once January 2014 hits, I'll hopefully begin Bible college immediately and study there until either the summer or another extra semester, totaling about a year. This will prep me to work in any sort of outreach or ministry here in Germany, where speaking the language would be very important, especially in Biblical terms. That said, studying the Bible in German would definitely be a challenge for me if I chose a German course! But isn't it crazy how the Lord leads every little step of our lives? At this point last year, I was struggling about whether I wanted to extend my stay as an Au Pair or go back home to Alaska. I had no idea what I wanted, and now I look back and see how much the Lord has done during that time and my mouth drops open. I never expected any of the things that have happened here. Any of them! Yes, there are still a lot of hopefullys in the next few years! Thankfully, that's where faith comes in, and it will not disappoint. I know that the best place to be is in His will, and that's where I am and where I will stay, through struggles and pains. And I'll come straight out and say that sometimes I really don't want to be in His will. All I want is to be out of it. But those are the moments that define your faith, whether it's a reality or a fanciful notion to make you feel good. There's something about Germany that touches my heart so deeply and unexplainably. The magic of newness never dies. My biggest hopefully is that the Lord will be to stay here for a good while yet.

Thanks to Robert, I'm embarking into the pages of a marvelous book! Here's a section in the beginning that I particularly loved.
"My hope is that we will all continue to struggle. We must never assume that we have arrived. Yet there is no virtue in sheer skepticism. We look with a jaundiced eye at those who are always learning but never coming to a knowledge of the truth. God is delighted with men and women of conviction. Of course, he is concerned that our convictions be according to truth."

1 Peter 5:7

Karneval! Dancing and singing all over the streets, in all the restaurants, clubs and bars, and not a person in sight with normal clothing. Naturally, it's quite a bundle of fun. My weekend was well spent in Cologne and today I watched another "train" (like a parade) in Erkelenz with the kids. During part of the train, I saw the tiger duck! Which was my costume so I was pretty excited. (The tiger duck is a cartoon for kids here.) Now the children are stuffed with scrambled eggs and toast and are watching some tv before bedtime. I've finished washing all my clothes from the weekend that smell like smoke and beer. Not my favorite aroma. Jojo had to air out her costume after our evening in Cologne because it smelled so bad!

Oh how I am going to miss Hannah Easley. She is leaving me in a few weeks and I've been in denial for too long. She was the first person I met right after I prayed for a friend who believes in Jesus. And this past year and a half we've lived through the crazy happenings of venturing in a foreign land together. I'm not sure how I will continue that venture without her sarcastic comments and snide remarks that keep me laughing. Yesterday after church, while we walked through the city to get some lunch, I got so sad and couldn't deny it any longer. I will miss her so dearly.

You know how sometimes it's so difficult to know a person? To feel close to their heart and understand them as much as they understand themselves, or perhaps even more? And then do you know how sometimes it's so easy? Why is that? I'm imagining the people in my head that were so easy for me to know. I quickly understood their heart. And I'm also imagining how that "knowing" compares to the depth of how our Saviour knows us. And it's never difficult for him. He looks at a person and goes straight to their heart. It's displayed all over the gospels whenever he meets people. It's so beautiful, and when I put that comparison in my head, I feel an explosion of warmth at the richness with which he knows me. And not only that, but his knowing is greater than mine, because he created me from the inside out. When my eyes fail me, he is my vision. When my heart fails me, he is my guide. When my strength fails me, he is my rock. When I tilt my head down and see the disaster that's overtaken every aspect of my being, when I see clearly ever error spread all over me, that's when I have to throw down the pride that tears me constantly from him. And then he comes, and he comes with strength, and faithfulness, and great love. He takes care of me gently and sweetly and miraculously. And I never want to live by my own will again, because he is my delight, my glory, and my satisfaction. And this all sounds so wonderful doesn't it? Because it is! And somehow I throw it away again and again for any little obstacle that wraps itself in beauty and lures me in. Who am I kidding, they're not always beautiful. When they're ugly I want them too and I take them. And then it's so difficult to know myself, even just to know myself to the extent that I do, which is faint in comparison to how Jesus knows me. And then my eyes widen in horror that he knows me so well and wonder because he loves me still. He sees what he created me to be, and what I will be when he returns. Complete in him, at rest, whole. My name is written in his book and I am rescued by the only one strong enough to wash away my wrongs and make me right. 'Oh God be my everything, be my delight Be Jesus, my glory, my soul satisfied!'

My heart will choose to say,

Lord, blessed be your name.
Yesterday, I picked a shirt off the floor and told Jojo, "I think this shirt is dirty." She glared at me and replied, "It's not dirty, it's thirty." Words failed me. I also learned how to play chess this week. I'm 21 and I'd never known how to play it. And now I got taught by 2 children describing all the pieces to me with random German words that I didn't know. Life is weird. But I understand the game now!!! I have yet to beat one of them...one time Johanna killed me with one of her pawns. That was a low moment! School is going really well right now. I'm one of the few people who will actually willingly participate in class, so it gives me a good advantage to practice speaking. The weather is starting to be more like spring which is lovely. I don't like wearing all my winter layers while I bike, it's so irritating! My Alaska bike is doing quite well, I just bought a protector for my tires since I've been getting mud sprayed all over my back. And it's so fun finally riding through the fields on it after all the months of riding through those same fields wishing to be on my own bike. It's quite wonderful!!! Oma (Britta's mom) had surgery on her foot so she's staying at our house right now and I have to say, I'm really enjoying her company! I have someone who I can ramble to in German, and I've surprised myself how much I can pull out of my head! This past week I haven't hardly thought in English!!! During my bike ride today, while the rain poured down upon me as I made my way through the muddy fields, I thought back again to August 2011 and what lengths I've come to in understanding and speaking German. Every time I think about my progress (It's not too often) I'm amazed at how much more I have learned than I thought was possible for me. I speak things that I never learned or studied, but just came out because I heard them over and over until I finally understood how to use them myself. It really beats studying out of a book!!! Although I do that too... but I learn so much more from listening and applying then from any book, to be honest. With that said, I'm really pumped right now about the test in May! Let's hope that lasts over the next few months. :) Tomorrow I'm leaving the house at 9am and riding my bike to Holland. I haven't done it since I've been home, and I'm venturing to Roermond, which will take me much longer than my usual destination. It's gonna be an all day biking trip and I'm sooooooo excited! I haven't taken a weekend to myself in a while. I always think that it'll be so sad and lonely, but when I get on my bike and spend time outside, sit at a cafe and read, and walk through a new city and look around, I find high enjoyment in it all! I think that's very important to be comfortable spending quality time alone. So this weekend is looking pretty bright to me. It's odd, because the past month or two have been filled with a lot of sadness that I'm not accustomed to. And somehow I felt that this blog would turn into a serious, thoughtful string of words, but it's completely opposite. As I keep typing, I'm discovering how incredibly blessed I am and it makes me so thankful.

Home & Home

My Alaska time was well spent and richly enjoyed. Slightly fast, but not too short. My plane was early to land and I figured they wouldn't be there yet, so I was walking sadly along, and when I rounded the bend, behold, my family was all standing there. My vision got blurry and I just smiled so big and then it turned into a sob, which turned into complete crying as I kept walking. Something couldn't get me to run to them. I wanted the full enjoyment of the moment, and it truly was like slow motion! Either that, or I walked extra slow. Katie came to me first and we both hugged and cried as any true girl would. It was so unreal to see them after so long. I remember particularly that I made Katie laugh within the first few minutes of my arrival. It's always been this fun challenge for me to get her to laugh, because it's not easy. I mean real, from the gut laughter. And thinking back, I realize that what I said probably wasn't that funny, and it was more of my newness that caused it, but I'll take what I can get. Once I arrived home, I got into my pajamas and they all mocked me and said I looked like an old lady. Oh well, at least I'm a cute one. 
We played many games of Mah Jonng, which I'd dearly missed. I won my first game too! I saw Sienna and she warmed back up to me quite speedily! Whenever she'd come over, she'd yell out my name. She's rather darling. For my birthday, Anna took me out and we bought scotch. I drove her car which terrified me but I managed. Other than that, it was quite relaxed, and mom made me a delicious salmon dinner. The Heinens had given me a special birthday candle to light at my birthday dinner so they'd "be there" with me, and guess what I did? Well, I picked it up to light it, and it slipped and shattered all over the table. Yep, I guess I didn't want them at my party. Boogie managed to fix it as best as possible, but it's forever scarred!!! Boogie's birthday was wonderful. She wore a darling dress and we drank smoothies, listened to good music, bought some alcohol and enjoyed being together like the good old days. And I say days, because literally that's all we've had. Never enough time with her! Christmas was glorious. We had so much fun sitting lazily in our pajamas most of the day and being together. Mom made a yummy breakfast and it was just completely perfect. Later in the afternoon we all got dressed up for the Christmas party that evening. The whole day I was just so happy to be spending time with my family. We had a fun night where I made them all Feuerzangenbowle with the set that the Heinens gave me for my Christmas gift. It was exciting and they all screamed while the fire danced upon the wine! Most of us were smart, and only drank one glass of it, since it's extremely strong, but a few brave ones ventured into a 2nd and perhaps even a 3rd glass... it made the night verrrrry interesting!!! Katie and I spent a weekend at a hotel and we had our special time together that we'd been craving. It was so magical. We were super excited about our room and we ran through the hotel halls, we went swimming, which was really mostly hot tubbing, and we went out to eat at Olive Garden, where we spoiled ourselves, but didn't eat to the point of sickness. The whole time was just perfect. Our conversations were perfect, the atmosphere was perfect, the everything was just perfect. It's not explainable, it only makes sense inside my head as I remember the weekend. We did manage to get into a car accident on the way to church, but were blessed to not be seriously hurt. And we have a special memory from it, despite the scary parts. At the end of my trip, I wasn't quite ready to leave my family, though I was happy to go back home. And now I'm home and I'm happy. But the ache is stronger because now I recognize more how much I miss them and I got used to being with them again. Somehow though, I have hope, and this summer seems to be smiling upon us... 

Sunday evening the 13th when I got home:
As I walked into the house, Gereon was the first one to come out from the kitchen yelling my name and gave me a big hug! Then Britta was there and hugged me, at which point a few tears began to come out, and then as I turned around, Christoph was standing there saying hello with a big grin and hugging me while Jojo ran down the stairs and jumped into my arms. At that point, I could barely talk because I was crying. Britta made chicken curry for dinner while I showed the kids their gifts from Alaska. They loved that, of course. Then they showed me their rooms and the new things they'd gotten from Christmas. Jojo gave me a Christmas present that she'd made for me in school, and then we played the jelly bean uno game that I'd bought for her until dinner time. I sat with them and had a glass of wine while I went over my trip home. At one point, Gereon was complaining about not wanting to pack his school bag for the next morning. As he reached for his water, he suddenly sang out "relax, don't do it"and I about died laughing. I love that even in a different language, he can twist words in songs in such a funny manner. That's talented, truly.
The next morning, Gereon came down the stairs and said, "Karly, smell my sweatshirt" as he tugged it towards my face. He was wearing the new cologne I'd given him! It was sweet. They're all sweet. I smiled when I went to bed and knew that I was beyond blessed.

Tuesday Jan 15th
I walked into the house to get dinner ready and while I set the table, Gereon turned on an ACDC song "Back in Black" with the volume all the way up and played along with his drums. I heard the song about 12 or 13 times and then Jojo started headbanging and air guitaring next to him and it was so hilarious! We had a wrestling match earlier in the living room and she kept biting me! At one point we were both laying on the floor looking at each other and laughing. It was so great. Her and Gereon were impossible to put to bed! Jojo was so wound up and Gereon test sprayed all of his new colognes on his finger so I could smell and approve of them, then Jojo had to do the same with her perfumes and then it escalated as everything with children does and colgone and perfume was sprayed all over the bathroom, hallway and all over me! I still smell it! Finally I got them both to finish brushing their teeth and then I tried to settle Jojo down. The only way I could get her quietly in bed was when she asked if she could do my make up so we made a deal. I  look like a ghost. She took the darkest color and smeared it over and under my eyes. It's ridiculous. And when Christoph got home he played the electric guitar with Gereon's drums to the ACDC song. It was so sweet! And Jojo played her piano song so she wouldn't be left out. I love this family!


Wednesday Jan 16th
I showed Jojo her photo album today and she sat in my lap as we looked through it together. She laughed at some, smiled at others and quoted all the lines I wrote in for her. I read her aloud the big text that I'd written at the front and she gave me a big hug at the end. She really liked it. Later, when Gereon and her played uno with me, he looked through the album and said while he flipped the pages, "Karly, you're cool" and kept looking through. I beamed. :) Later in the afternoon, we all went outside to have a snowball fight and at first we threw back and forth but then it turned into one person standing as a target and the other two taking turns hitting the torso. We had fun with that for a long time and Gereon got me really good a few times in the face! He would walk up to me and shove me and I'd shove back. He got really goofy too and was laughing harder than I've seen from him for a while! Then Jojo and I suddenly became snow police and spoke entirely in Genglisch to Gereon while we chased him. I showed them how to stand under trees while I shook it so the snow fell on them and they loved that. Then we began running around the front and back yard and all over throwing snowball after snowball. We were all panting and eventually we went to get some apfelshorle which we slurped down in a few seconds of silence. Finally, we went inside and Jojo stuck her hands inside my back and it was COLD! While we were playing, Gereon asked Jojo "is there much snow on my hood?" to which she replied, "No, it could be mucher." :) And then when Gereon was trying to put his glove on, we got our snowballs ready and he said, "nein, wait!" I can tell I've been gone for too long!

And then there's today. One word is in my head today. Trust.